It starts as a miserable little seed inside your soul, a little prick that draws blood. Before you even realise it’s there, it has grown roots and taken residence in your heart. Day by day, it grows until it’s no longer a seed, but a thorned cactus, shredding your insides out. You may think you know this seed well, but you don’t because for everyone it is different. It’s name is depression. The thing is, you can have this dreaded plant growing inside your soul for a long time, but still go on living your life. Emotional weed killers and poison control are needed in order to have any chance of surviving. And everyone’s recovery is different. When the depression has taken over our whole being, life begins to fail. We choke on our own emotional vomit as if being strangled from within. Not everyone understands this beast, and whilst I feel glad for those people, I also feel a little resentment. That they have the guile to tell me to shake it off, or just get out of bed, with absolutely no idea how difficult it really is. I write this mainly for those who are suffering right now, to reach out a hand and say “I get it”. Grab those weed killers and hack away the thorns that pierce your skin and make you cry. It’s not always like this, and even though I have little hope at the moment, I am reminding myself that the sun will shine again in due course, and for now I just need to be patient and trust that I will come out of this alive.